Friday, August 24, 2012

I feel sexiest when...

...I wear my grey Old Navy t-shirt
...My hubby grabs my face with both hands
...I am wearing high heels and ripped jeans
...I am wearing red lipstick
...I am laughing so hard I cry
...I can't stop dancing
...I lift more weights than the guy next to me
...I wear my glasses
...My hubby tells me I look hot when I barely brushed my hair

Lately I have been struggling with this "feeling sexy" situation...I recently became the Hauteshots Boudoir photography Spokesmodel...not really feeling like I deserved it..like I wasn't sexy just yet...but if I worked hard enough I could be that vision that I had in my head....I dived right in...and began my journey to get fit...even reaching a level where I felt I was ready to be "sexy" I still found myself dissecting my body and everything around it....I am working with an amazing photographer...and recently we took some impromptu pics...They are great pics...yet I still found myself picking myself apart...I just went through a major change in my body during my competition, which I will post I promise, and I just see myself in such a weird way...anyway...I had grabbed a few pieces for the shoot since it was last minute and arrived at the suite...As you can see I am wearing...YES...the Old Navy T-shirt...but honestly...I felt comfortable...and sexy in this stupid shirt... and while my hubby loved the other pics that were definitely a little more "fancy" I realized that this is more me...I have never been one to reveal a whole lot of skin...I know..Ironic...but I think I was honored with this position for a reason...Even at my most fit..I don't know if I really saw me...I only saw what I didn't like...or what didn't look PERFECT...thus feeling disappointed and somewhat defeated...I hate that I feel this way....I am so grateful for everything I have and I work hard for it...I was talking to my friend last night and we were talking about how we spent most of our 20's upset with our body...and we want to spend our 30's loving it...I haven't posted pics or video from the competition because I guess I was somewhat disappointed in myself...like I had done everything and my body still didn't reach "perfection"..therefore how could I post it if I wasn't what I wanted me to be...I know..I sound ridiculous..and I am sure some of you are about ready to slap me upside my head...but I just wanted to be honest...I have been in somewhat of a standstill not really sure if I just want to give up or keep going...and then this picture was posted and I was reminded of one thing...It is ok that I am not perfect....as a matter of fact...I think that is what makes me ME...so...Week 6 will be coming up this weekend...and so will Week 7...and so forth...and so on...some of you have emailed me and left messages telling me that I have inspired you...and honestly..that is what is keeping me going...I am competitive by nature...and sometimes I forget that the real winner is the one who keeps going the minute quitting is an option...hopefully I made some sort of sense..I am rambling now  haha Have a wonderful weekend and check back for pictures from my competition, our premier of our short film...and camping extravaganza!

So...what makes you feel sexy? 

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5 comments

  1. I also struggle with this same thing. My husband likes me to wear low cut shirts, etc which is what he finds sexy. Well...I really like wearing big blousy shirts with skiny jeans/leggings. I'm trying to show him and teach him that my way is pretty sexy too :-)

    Thanks for the post!

    www.mrsskeelsdeals.blogspot.com

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  2. I used to laugh so hard I cried but then I hit senior citizen status. Now I laugh so hard I wet myself.
    Big difference for some reason.
    LOL

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  3. I love the thigh highs! Hmm...I should really buy a pair :-P

    I feel sexiest when I'm smiling and enjoying life. Also, I feel best when I'm strong & fit.

    Great post!

    http://indefinitestyle.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are a spokesmodel now, how AMAZING! I love reading this kind of stuff, so FUN! Congrats, on this! Struggling with that sexy feeling at this time in my life (hormone shift), just not feeling it. But I still feel good about myself when I wear a beautiful pair of heels. :-)

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  5. Congratulations and you look amazing like always xoxox

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THANK YOU to everyone for making me laugh and smile everyday! I love reading every comment and will always do my best to reply!
Love Always,
Shana

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