Papa

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Heels BCBG Thrifted Savers

Belt H&M

Pants H&M
Outfit Details
Sweater- My Grandpa's Sweater
Blouse-F21 Thrifted Savers
Belt- H&M
Pants- H&M Belongs to a suit
Heels- BCBG Thrifted Savers

Well, I really didn't want to talk about my grandpa but that is ALL I can think about right now...I thought I had it together..I thought I was focused and ok...and then I left the hospital last night after struggling to pull my hand away from a man who is suffering with a kung fu grip...I am not sure what to do...I sat in my car in the parking lot of the hospital and just cried...I know..I am by no means writing this for any sort of sympathy...we get old...we die...it's life...but to suffer, to be removed from what you have always known...to have lost freedom and independence...my papa had a stroke over a year and a half ago and should have passed away...but instead...he fought....he fought so hard the docs were pretty convinced we had been making up all the nonsense of him having short and long term memory still in tact...he spoke English and French and still remains in a positive spirit...he continues to baffle the medical professionals that are confronted with his case....and then I realized why...WE were the ones feeding him...with HOPE...with HAPPINESS....sometimes I just go and sit with him...and then he wakes up and sees me...and then closes his eyes...he knows we are there...My dad, my sister and my husband and I have spent countless hours going back and forth...and we will continue to do so...I just know he is tired...and I am too... I often take out my notebook and write down thoughts...these were a few I wrote down last night..
I am going to use this body and mind until I can no longer...NO EXCUSES...I am going to PUSH through pain and laziness....I will NEVER doubt my capabilities...and will always make sure to take care of myself...I will ALWAYS say I love you to all my friends and family EVERY TIME I see them...I may spread myself thin...but I don't want to waste another minute being unhappy or thinking of what I can not change. If I get overwhelmed I will close my eyes and simply tell myself that I can DO this...Being busy is AMAZING....busy with things I love... I can create a body I admire, a mind that is always thinking, and a heart that is always fulfilled...I will repeat this ANYTIME I have doubts...I LOVE my papa and I know everything is going to be ok...and I thank all of you for making my day just a little brighter...fashion, music, fitness, these are ways I communicate...and I thank you for sharing it with me!!! Love you guys!

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THANK YOU to everyone for making me laugh and smile everyday! I love reading every comment and will always do my best to reply!
Love Always,
Shana

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